In the Palm of His Hand

The feeling of the unknown is not reserved for anyone, not for special needs parents, not for typical parents. The feeling of the unknown is a part of growing up and making difficult decisions. The risk always changes. Should I take this new job? Should I go to this school? Should I eat this slice of pizza? Alan and I have had our fair share of difficult decisions. Deciding to get on a new medication or go through a medical procedure for yourself is tough. We’ve done it, we have friends who are living it. Making a similar decision for your child is an unknown that was difficult to digest.

Ever since we learned about Paloma’s tethered cord, we knew she would need surgery. The bottom line was that a laminectomy could possibly be instrumental in helping Pal learn to walk one day, God willing. We had a confident and acclaimed neurosurgeon in Doctor Myseros. We felt we had discerned properly. Still, after we finally scheduled the procedure, I was second guessing our decision and/or looking for reasons to delay it. I asked myself, “Maybe we should just wait? Would insurance even cover it? If we can’t afford it, let’s just push it back.” and so on. However, after we met with Dr. Krantz in Minneapolis (see previous blog) he affirmed us in having the surgery as soon as we could.

I can not believe it has been 5 months since Paloma’s surgery. Despite the circumstances, you know, a neurosurgeon cutting into the spine of our tiny baby, we were shockingly calm. It helped that we had familiar faces holding our hands. Earlier that week Alan’s old friend, John, texted him saying that he saw Paloma’s name on the surgery schedule and he asked to be on the team that day. It’s absolutely calming when a friend tells you, “I’ve been working with Doctor Myseros for 10 years and I consider him to be the Lebron of neurosurgery so the fact that he is your doctor means Paloma is in God’s hands.” Boom.

Since Paloma is so young, she had the honor of being one of the first surgeries of the day, which meant we had the honor of waking up at 4am to be at the hospital by 5am.

Going into pre-op, we recognized one of our nurses. She was a parishioner at our previous Parish! She also affirmed us that Paloma would be in great hands. 

While we were waiting for the surgical team to get ready, John came and sat with us. The anesthesiologists came to check on Pal and they were surprised to see him with us because they’re used to only seeing him in the operating room. Our doctor came to see us prior to surgery, explaining the plan once again. “I’m gonna make a small incision, cut her filum, and close her up. I won’t even see her spinal cord.“ His confidence and well, arrogance, was surprisingly reassuring. If I’m going to have a doctor operate on my seven month old’s spine, I want him to be the most confident doctor ever.  We gave our kisses and hugs to our love dove, and off she went into surgery.

John kept texting us updates from start to finish. To have someone on the inside was so reassuring! He even texted us photos of the video monitor. While we were waiting, we prayed the rosary for Paloma, her medical team, and her recovery. Shortly after her filum was cut, Dr. Myseros came to us in the waiting room and assured us everything went well and that they were closing up. The anesthesia is what took the most time. The actual surgery from open to close took about 20 minutes.

Her incision in all its glory.

Paloma was admitted for two more days, to ensure that no spinal fluid was leaking. While we were in the hospital, Alan’s aunt, who happened to work at our hospital, visited us. Her office is on the same floor that we were on! ALSO, she is a case manager for the neurosurgery cases and has been working with Dr.  Myseros for years! While I was sleeping, he even left me a note to ease my worries. We totally kept his note for obvious and sentimental reasons. 

We fully recognize God’s love in surrounding us with family and friends to affirm us that Paloma is in the palm of His hand, always.

And since her surgery, Paloma has recovered beautifully. 

Dr. Myseros with a sleepy Paloma at her follow up appointment.

Again, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts, for your support in Paloma’s short life so far. We wouldn’t have this strength without your kind words and prayers!