NICU Round 1

My pregnancy with Paloma was my easiest. I didn’t have morning sickness, I didn’t have gestational diabetes, and I only gained 18 pounds.  I ate pretty healthy while having unusually boring cravings of salad and fish. While my weight gain was the smallest compared to my previous pregnancies, Paloma was my biggest at birth weighing 8lbs 9oz. I was naive to think that because it was an “easy” nine months, Paloma would not have any health concerns when she was born.

Paloma was born on December 11 at 38 weeks. She was immediately brought to the NICU because of fluid in her lungs, a commonality with c-section babies. The fluid caused her to constantly “desaturate”, which basically means she would slow or stop her breathing.

There were good days and bad days. On good days, we took advantage of the time away from home. We caught up on shows and indulged in INOVA Fair Oaks’ surprisingly good cafeteria. Ya know as far as hospital cafeteria’s go. On bad days, Paloma would have episodes of desaturation and her 72 hour desat-free clock would reset. Each day that passes in the NICU, you hope that the next morning your nurse will tell you that your child is finally being discharged. My prayer, even if it was wrong, was always to just bring her home. Alan assuredly said that his prayer was different; that she was simply healthy and was getting the care she needed to come home when she was ready. Tough to swallow, but I heard Him loud and clear.

A third of Paloma’s stay was after my own discharge. So early mornings and late evenings were spent commuting one hour to and from the hospital. It was extremely difficult leaving Ben and Rori every day, having to explain why we had to go away to see the baby. On the morning of December 16, we got donuts for Rori to celebrate her 2nd birthday. While I had a newborn girl an hour away who often times was struggling to breathe, I felt like I was cheating Rori, like she wasn’t getting the birthday she deserved. I cried trying leave the house that morning, being forced to process this handful of emotions. It was so foreign being away from our two all day, and then saying goodbye to our third every night.

We were very friendly with our nurses. We had our favorites. The nearby parish had Extraordinary Ministers come visit us and we received Communion which was so timely and so needed. I even had the opportunity to catch up with the Pastor, who was my former pastor at the parish where Alan and I were married. Crazy, right? Full circle, once again, life. 

Paloma was in the NICU for 11 days when we finally brought her home just in time for Christmas. Best Christmas present ev-er! And then, nine days later, we were back in the NICU for a completely different reason. 

Up next: 

NICU Round 2

2 days old on a C-PAP Machine